Arranged marriages take place all over the globe: in some parts, they are popular or obligatory, and in others – not so accepted. Many arranged marriages happen in nations such as Japan, Pakistan, China, and India. They are performed in various ways by many dissimilar cultures and religions and are even performed in the Western nations (Gagoomal, 2009). This paper is meant to explain why parents should not choose their children’s life partners. These are the major arguments: the arranged marriages include the unexpected process for the society; arranged marriages comprise the risk of marring into violence; arranged marriages offer far less independence and freedom as compared to the love marriages; and finally, there is the lack of love and respect between wife and husband who know nothing about one another.
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Arranged marriages include the unexpected process for the society. In all arranged marriages, people have to be the same nationality. That is the reason why East Indians marry only East Indians, if the spouse has been chosen by parents. Moreover, in the Sikh culture the daughter or son has to marry the same class and cast – farmers marry farmers, rich marry rich, etc. (Gagoomal, 2009). This rule comprises the challenge for the society as people will be forced to marry individuals only from their circle, class, nationality and so on. Thus, there is the lack of a chance to marry for love.
Additionally, arranged marriages comprise te risk of marring to violence. At times, husbands are violent towards their wives, and females are too scared to speak out. It is also more difficult to obtain the divorce under the arranged matrimony. It is possible, but the couple would be disown by their relatives and treated poorly by the community; so, the liberty of choice is lost for a female or male, who is forced into these circumstances. Thus, females have been known to defend the abusive relations for the sake of parents’ pride, respect in society, and dignity.
Arranged marriages offer far less independence and liberty as compared to love marriages. In case the spouse is chosen by relatives, there is some pressure to stick to parental expectations like participating in family rituals, customs and traditions, giving birth to a male heir, maintaining good relations with all sisters-in-laws, contributing to the family expenses. In the arranged marriage, there is some constant pressure to be beautiful and fair-skinned (Fish, 2010). For instance, in Indian evil of dowry, the idea of matching horoscopes, caste, and community issues, taken at times to the extreme degrees, have contributed much to the dispute against arranged weddings.
Concerning the romantic argument, it should be mentioned that there is the lack of love and respect between wife and husband, and, if the female or male is already in love with another individual before the marriage ceremony and has no alternative but to marry the incorrect human being, it mayy often be extremely hard (Rustin, 2011). Young people need to experiment. That is a vital part of the personality in dealing with the surrounding, and how one obtain own experience. They are more likely to require a dissimilar set of characteristics from older parents around them; ones which involve the necessity to belong, to be appreciated, loved and wanted, to get attention, and to be listened to – the stuff they are not likely to obtain at home if their parents tend to hold them in obedience rather than to love, listen, and praise. In contrast, the relatives’ selection of partners for children is often based on material and intellectual needs that predict well for the youngsters future while the young people themselves search partners to satisfy instant physical, sexual, and emotional ones. Additionally, many scholars assert that, as a rule, the happier the family life at home for the young person, and the more he or she identifies with own parents, the more the choice of spouse will converge with the parental expectations. But, what if the youngster’s parents’ marriage is not happy? Then, most likely, the following marriage will become fatal. This circle may repeat over and over again. That is why children should have a chance to make their own choice – wrong or right but own. Knowing someone before wedding enables partners to have a better understanding and esteem for each other's desires and needs (Rustin, 2011). This way they are better accustomed in the family life when they ultimately take the wedding vows.